No one expects the Spanish Inquisition

  For the most part, if it can go, wrong it will. But in all honesty, it doesn't happen as often as one might think. Usually there's quick fix. I am always getting a 911 phone call or message screaming for help. The first thing to do is breathe. Chefs are not gods, we're fallible, we just have a better collection of "what to do" cards in our our decks. And anyone who says they've never resorted to a "quick fix" is a liar. I've been in enough kitchens to to know that there's usually the jar, bottle, box or package to act as an emergency kit when the moment arises.It's gonzo band aid work, but can haul your butt out of the fire in a pinch.
  Frankly there are so many companies producing pre-packaged goods for the uninitiated that it's hard to resist squirreling some away. Some suck, some don't. Fresh is best, from scratch is amazing. Some things take a lot of time.but in the end...so worth it, and some things can be done in the blink of an eye. For example, most people will not attempt a Hollandaise from scratch.Even some of my cooks won't do it for fear of breaking it.Or they have been through protracted lessons of water baths, right temperatures, sloooooooow drizzles, etc. Takes them for freaking ever and then....breakage.You don't have to be a saucier with yrs of experience to make it.If you have a food processor, a stick blender, or a regular blender....you can do it.If you don't, you can do a great "mock up" and generally no one knows. It's all in putting the right items together at the right time, in the right order.
Basic Hollandaise: approx. 4 cups..(can be easily cut in half)
 ........First you will need to clarify some butter.... always a good thing to have at hand and it will keep for a while in the fridge, but you can do it in a snap.Melt the butter and skim off the foam.Do this over a low flame and the solids will will drop to the bottom.Use a fat skimmer (screened) or slotted spoon or a ladle.The remaining butterfat at will be clear.Dump the impurities............

3/4 tsp- of cracked black pepper...fresh ground; in a jar; whole in a bag and crushed; or use a coffee grinder
3 oz.-red wine vinegar..or white, or cider..........experiment on tastes
8 egg yolks
18 oz - clarified butter--warm...if you test it on your wrist and don't feel it, it's warm.We're 98.6 and you don't want to over cook the yolks and curdle them...(p.s.1 yoke holds about 2 oz of butter)
1/2 oz- lemon juice
salt, to taste
dijon mustard,to taste
cayenne- to taste or not

   In processor bowl with metal blade...Put yolks and turn on.Add vinegar.and process for a minute or 2.This will create a "cooking" process from the acid in the vinegar and the speed.Slowly add the warm butter in a steady stream.It will start to emulsify and thicken.You'll "hear" it change in consistency as well as see it.
drizzle in lemon juice,add a pinch of salt,a 1/2 tsp of dijon, and for a kick, a sprinkle of cayenne.Stop, taste and adjust your flavors for your needs.
   It is essentially ready to serve, but will keep for 2 hrs in a water bath over a LOW heat.
Try it in a blender....not My favorite because thick emulsions tend to "burn" out the motor; stick blender and bowl or cup work well, too.
  Once you are comfortable, you can use this basic recipe and do several other variations.
Mousseline....fold in 5 oz of whipped cream so light and airy
Maltese...2 oz. of orange and a little of the zest ( if you have blood oranges you are blessed), a flavor great for fishes
Bearnaise....add some fresh tarragon
Choron....tricky,but worth it...requires 2-3 oz of tomato and can really break the emulsion if added too fast or more than the yolks can handle.......if nervous about this grab your favorite hot sauce and have at it..... has a blushy color that's so pretty.Fabulous with big meats, steak and eggs, potatoes.........anything you like with a "bite"....Oooohhhh... Shrimp and Cheddary Grits.............just saying
Congratulations! You have made your first "Mother Sauce" and  can experiment all you like. Buttery and silky and a little goes a long way.

IT BROKE!!!!!!!and they're almost here.............
Shhhhhh....grab your mayo, mustard, vinegar, lemon and spices....Put a cup in a bowl, add the other ingredients, in stages, tasting as you go, thin it with a little water, till you achieve the flavor your happy with. Not totally the same and the oil taste may be there a bit ...but......... if you have to.......

SO practice , practice practice......the results are well worth it.