I get the best head and you can too..............

  The first day of Baking 101 can be a real twist.There's so much to absorb and grasp.Plus, who the hell wants to be there? Honestly? We all want to be home in bed, rolling over and resnoring. Not Listening to this science and biology and ewwwwwwww did she says sperm? uh, ectosperm? wazzat?  OMG she said manipulate...and knead.....and head...and warm and wet....wait, what is she going on about? Is this sex ed?????? Shit , maybe I will listen.........
  No baby, you heard right, it is baking and it is erotic as all get out. I will teach you how to great great head, if you pay attention.'Cause without it, it's gonna go all limp and collapse, and you will be so disappointed. Me too. I will show you how to use your hands and in ways you never dreamed and care for those silky smooth balls with the touch of a Geisha., and rise and practically burst for you.And in some instances, burst.
  You want to bring all your dry ingredients together, properly weighed and measured. Follow your recipe and make sure you have read the procedures.There's a difference. Recipes read like a shopping list or formula, procedures tell you what you will be doing with it. Make sure you have all your equipment, tools, and needs.
  Plus, you dont need a lot of space......keep tight, keep it controlled, take your time.
Now, make sure the water is right temperature.You do have a thermometer Nurse, don't you? Put it in...the water. 105 degrees.....nice..........perfect.....now mix in your dry yeast, and stir to dissolve. Maybe a pinch of sugar, to let it feed on. And walk away to let it do it's thing . Put all your dry ingredients in the mixing bowl with the dough hook.Set it on low to begin. Get tour bowl, put a little , a drop or two or oil in it and smear it around, set aside. Let's see, how nicely our head is beginning to rise. It could take as much as 7-15 minutes. I you keep the yeast in the fridge , it'll be a little sleepy......don't hurry, slow is good. Take your time. No need to rush. When you have a nice head going, think of a beer perfectly poured in a glass, the bubbles are growing and expanding, the smell intoxicating, you're getting there. Pour it into the mixing bowl and let it go about 5-6 minutes till it al starts sticking together. Scrape all the bits together and go up a notch in speed. We want to go faster to agitate and knead. Feel the bottom of the bowl, it should be warm to the touch. Another 20 or so minutes....aren't you glad I didn't ask you to do it by hand? There is a tool for just about everything. Right tool, right job. Not that the hand job isn't good, if there's no electricity, but it gets tiring.
   Now , let's touch it. It should be coming together in a smooth ball around the hook. Looks and feels too dry...a LITTLE water drizzled in............looks to loose?...you got it, a bit more flour gently added. Let it mix.
We're looking and feeling for a lovely, smooth, silky, soft ball. It should give to the touch. Turn it out into the bowl cover with a kitchen towel or plastic film, place in a warm spot...top of fridge, gas oven-off.. PILOT ONLY ...any where away from drafts or cold. Let rise double in size, could be an hour.hour and a half......no rush. You deserve a break. Have a bon bon.
   Ready? GASP, look at it, it's so big , so full.......don't worry, you can handle it.We're gonna get a little aggressive. Punch it down. Just once, that let some of the air out, no need to inflict damage.. Now turn it out onto a well floured surface. Divide in half And knead it.Gently but firmly, push it away using the heel of your hand, bring it back with your fingers.Feel it and breathe it, it's getting a bit firmer in your hands.BUT dont't overdo it, it'll get exhausted and tough and all that effort will retard its rising and we want it up there.And what's the point , if we can't get it up and finish it? Now shape it the way you want it. Either free form , rustic, or in a pan.
  Let rise again, till double in size, score the top, brush it with egg or cream, or leave it plain and dusty.
Bake in a 400-425 oven for 20-30 minutes, golden, and tap it to see if it sounds hollow... Cool completely.
  As with all baking, even boxes, there are variables we watch for. Heat, cool, humidity, dryness, freshness of flour, and yeast and even hardness and softness of water......ovens, conventional and convection, altitude. BUT, oh look at it, look what you've done, feel the relief and satisfaction flood thru you. Was it good for you? I was for me.....
And you'll be surprised by how soon you want to do it again. Maybe even try a new trick......or two.

Basic Bread Dough

1/2 c...water 105 degrees
3tsp....salt
1 tsp...salt
1 tsp..sugar
4c....flour, preferably bread, but A.P. will work
4 Tbsp O.O.

  Put yeast in water to rise and develop a head
  Add a pinch of the sugar
  Put all dry ingredients in mixing bowl
  On low or slow, add yeast water and mix. As it begins to come together, add in O.O. Mix for 5-6 minutes.
It should feel a little sticky, increase speed to med for 12-15 minutes, if it still seems "wet" add a little flour at a time till you achieve a smooth , silky ball. It should give a bit and not stick to your fingers, and come away from the side of the bowl.
  Turn out and knead a few minutes, form into a ball and place in oiled bowl. Cover and let rise1 hour,as much as an hour and a half, or till doubled in size.
  Punch down and turn onto floured surface. Divide in two.Knead gently a few minutes and shape. Allow to double in size. Score the top with a knife brush with egg wash or cream.
  Bake till golden brown and sounds hollow when tapped.
  Allow to cool on a rack.

And enjoy the hell out of it........'cause now you can get great head.....

As always ,
Cheffy