Left to my own devices............

    Most people would agree, that being left to their own devices, will inexorably lead to trouble. Yeah, I can see that. I try to put a positive spin on it, not always succeeding, but having a hell of a good time trying.What's it all about, you wonder? There are times,when we find ourselves on our own. Our partners go off on business or events without us, for varying reasons We have time on our hands outside of our everyday plans. These can present unique opportunities to play or experiment. I say use them. No, I'm not suggesting we all run out to bars and get wasted and come home with something we'll regret the next day, although, for some, that's a tempting thought. Rather, explore the realm of creativity and resources never before thought of. Also, to revisit something that may not have gone well before.
  Stay with me now.....Seriously, when was the last time you took that cook book of the shelf, dusted it and simply randomly opened to a page, copied the ingredients, shopped and then made something? Or rifled thru Granny's old box of antique recipes and said, hmmmmmmmmm? It worked once, how's 'bout now?
  Better yet,try something totally off the wall for a future date.
These are the times, when we get to choose something that quells the longing for the loved one, shuts out the worries for their well being, stops us from wishing we were there, and gives us a sense of peace, and even accomplishment. It'll take up time,and produce something. So after the gym, the house, the pool, the dog, the reruns, the computer, et al, get up off your ass and do it.  Even just looking at all the pretty pictures can be inspiring. It can be likea trip around the world, without all the packing. It struck me, while working with my Culinary students, that our understanding of cuisine from other lands is severely limited and/or misunderstood. Mexican dishes, for example are NOT Spanish dishes. French is not Basque, or even one area in France. Moroccan.... definitely not African. So, while the man or woman is away, why not go somewhere yourself? The beautiful thing is, that instead of having pictures, you can have a dish ready for them to try when they get back.
  The Caribbean Islands offer a lovely microcosm of several different cultures and some wonderful tastes.

Cuban Black Bean Soup
Sofrito
1/2 c--green bell peppers, seeded and chopped
1/2 c-- tomatoes, peeled, seeded and chopped
1/2 c--yellow onion, chopped
2 cloves-- garlic, chopped
2 Tbsp--fresh cilantro, chopped
1 Tbsp-- fresh parsley, chopped
   Process the ingredients into a paste. If you need to let some aggression out, pound it by hand.

Soup
1 1/2 Tsp--Annatto oil ( if you can't find this, steep some Annatto seeds in 1/2 c of oil overnite)
2 oz-- salted pork
2 oz--lean ham, trimmed and diced
1 tsp--dried oregano
1 1/2 c.--dried black beans, cleaned and soaked
1 tsp--ground cumin
3 1/2 c--chicken stock
s & p
1/4 c-- minced white onion for garnish

   Heat oil and cook pork until crisp. Drain  and reserve oil and pork
   Put oil into a pan over a medium high heat, add the paste and saute of a few minutes.You want the vegetables soft and cooked but not brown. Add the ham and cook another minute.
   Drain and rinse the beans and add to the sofrito .Add stock,oregano,cumin. You want the stock to cover the beans by about an inch or two.
  Bring this to a boil, lower the heat and simmer for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, until the beans are tender. You may need to add more stock.
  Remove half the soup and puree, return to pot and simmer 5 or so minutes.
  Adjust the seasonings to taste
Back on the boat and cruise down to Jamaica

Jerk Chicken
1/4 c-- lime juice
1/4 c--water
3 1/2 pounds-whole chicken, cut in half
2 cloves--garlic, minced
  If using a grill preheat it. This can be on on a stove top in a heavy pan, or under the broiler.
Combine lime juice and water and rinse the chicken, rub it down with the garlic.

Jerk Marinade
2 tsp--pimento, ground
1/2 tsp--grated nutmeg
1/2 tsp--ground mace
1 tsp-- salt
1 tsp--sugar
2 tsp--dried thyme
1 tsp--pepper
1 c--green onions, chopped
1 c--yellow onion, chopped
1 whole-- Scotch bonnet or Jalapeño pepper
2 Tbsp--veg oil
  Blend or process all the ingredients till smooth. Again,Or..use a mortar and pestle like the natives do.It's a great work out.Pour this over the chicken and allow to marinate for 2 hours.
  Remove the chicken and cook by desired method. Grilling is the top choice, but the others will work. Cook till done.Cut the chicken into 8 or so pieces.
 *** You can cut the chicken up before marinating or buy pieces pre-cut for ease of handling.***

Fried Ripe Plantains
2--ripe plantains
Butter or oil.as needed

Cut the ends off the plantains, peel and slice lengthwise in half
Cut halves across diagonally in slices
heat butter or oil over medium heat
Add slices and brown on both sides
place on paper towels and serve hot.

Hearts of Palm Salad
Vinaigrette
1 Tbsp--passion fruit puree
2 oz--red wine vinegar
1/8 tsp--dijon mustard
4 oz--OO
salt and pepper to taste
  Whisk together and season to taste

Salad
dozen --Tomato wedges
1 can--hearts of palm, cut into 1/2 inch dice
1/2-- green bell pepper, 1/4 inch dice
1 -2 head--Boston lettuce,torn into med.pieces
1/2-- red onion, sliced thin...soaked in water for 30 minutes and dried
2 oz-- queso fesco
  Toss tomatoes w/ 2 Tbsp of vinaigrette
  Combine all ingredients and toss with with vinaigrette
  Arrange on individual plates

Coconut Rice pudding
1 can-- coconut milk
Equal amount of milk----use can to measure
1 measured can again--rice
3 eggs-beaten
1 tsp-ground cinnamon
6 tbsp-dry sherry
   Bring liquids to a low boil
Add rice and reduce heat, stirring
Simmer till liquid is almost absorbed
Stir in eggs, cinnamon, sherry and stir constantly over low heat till thickened
Pour into bowls and brown under broiler or use a torch
Can be served warm or chilled

This is a great way to enjoy the islands without leaving home. And when your partner comes home, you'll have some interesting tales to tell, as well as some good food to sample.

Bon Voyage,
 Cheffy

   .
 

I get the best head and you can too..............

  The first day of Baking 101 can be a real twist.There's so much to absorb and grasp.Plus, who the hell wants to be there? Honestly? We all want to be home in bed, rolling over and resnoring. Not Listening to this science and biology and ewwwwwwww did she says sperm? uh, ectosperm? wazzat?  OMG she said manipulate...and knead.....and head...and warm and wet....wait, what is she going on about? Is this sex ed?????? Shit , maybe I will listen.........
  No baby, you heard right, it is baking and it is erotic as all get out. I will teach you how to great great head, if you pay attention.'Cause without it, it's gonna go all limp and collapse, and you will be so disappointed. Me too. I will show you how to use your hands and in ways you never dreamed and care for those silky smooth balls with the touch of a Geisha., and rise and practically burst for you.And in some instances, burst.
  You want to bring all your dry ingredients together, properly weighed and measured. Follow your recipe and make sure you have read the procedures.There's a difference. Recipes read like a shopping list or formula, procedures tell you what you will be doing with it. Make sure you have all your equipment, tools, and needs.
  Plus, you dont need a lot of space......keep tight, keep it controlled, take your time.
Now, make sure the water is right temperature.You do have a thermometer Nurse, don't you? Put it in...the water. 105 degrees.....nice..........perfect.....now mix in your dry yeast, and stir to dissolve. Maybe a pinch of sugar, to let it feed on. And walk away to let it do it's thing . Put all your dry ingredients in the mixing bowl with the dough hook.Set it on low to begin. Get tour bowl, put a little , a drop or two or oil in it and smear it around, set aside. Let's see, how nicely our head is beginning to rise. It could take as much as 7-15 minutes. I you keep the yeast in the fridge , it'll be a little sleepy......don't hurry, slow is good. Take your time. No need to rush. When you have a nice head going, think of a beer perfectly poured in a glass, the bubbles are growing and expanding, the smell intoxicating, you're getting there. Pour it into the mixing bowl and let it go about 5-6 minutes till it al starts sticking together. Scrape all the bits together and go up a notch in speed. We want to go faster to agitate and knead. Feel the bottom of the bowl, it should be warm to the touch. Another 20 or so minutes....aren't you glad I didn't ask you to do it by hand? There is a tool for just about everything. Right tool, right job. Not that the hand job isn't good, if there's no electricity, but it gets tiring.
   Now , let's touch it. It should be coming together in a smooth ball around the hook. Looks and feels too dry...a LITTLE water drizzled in............looks to loose?...you got it, a bit more flour gently added. Let it mix.
We're looking and feeling for a lovely, smooth, silky, soft ball. It should give to the touch. Turn it out into the bowl cover with a kitchen towel or plastic film, place in a warm spot...top of fridge, gas oven-off.. PILOT ONLY ...any where away from drafts or cold. Let rise double in size, could be an hour.hour and a half......no rush. You deserve a break. Have a bon bon.
   Ready? GASP, look at it, it's so big , so full.......don't worry, you can handle it.We're gonna get a little aggressive. Punch it down. Just once, that let some of the air out, no need to inflict damage.. Now turn it out onto a well floured surface. Divide in half And knead it.Gently but firmly, push it away using the heel of your hand, bring it back with your fingers.Feel it and breathe it, it's getting a bit firmer in your hands.BUT dont't overdo it, it'll get exhausted and tough and all that effort will retard its rising and we want it up there.And what's the point , if we can't get it up and finish it? Now shape it the way you want it. Either free form , rustic, or in a pan.
  Let rise again, till double in size, score the top, brush it with egg or cream, or leave it plain and dusty.
Bake in a 400-425 oven for 20-30 minutes, golden, and tap it to see if it sounds hollow... Cool completely.
  As with all baking, even boxes, there are variables we watch for. Heat, cool, humidity, dryness, freshness of flour, and yeast and even hardness and softness of water......ovens, conventional and convection, altitude. BUT, oh look at it, look what you've done, feel the relief and satisfaction flood thru you. Was it good for you? I was for me.....
And you'll be surprised by how soon you want to do it again. Maybe even try a new trick......or two.

Basic Bread Dough

1/2 c...water 105 degrees
3tsp....salt
1 tsp...salt
1 tsp..sugar
4c....flour, preferably bread, but A.P. will work
4 Tbsp O.O.

  Put yeast in water to rise and develop a head
  Add a pinch of the sugar
  Put all dry ingredients in mixing bowl
  On low or slow, add yeast water and mix. As it begins to come together, add in O.O. Mix for 5-6 minutes.
It should feel a little sticky, increase speed to med for 12-15 minutes, if it still seems "wet" add a little flour at a time till you achieve a smooth , silky ball. It should give a bit and not stick to your fingers, and come away from the side of the bowl.
  Turn out and knead a few minutes, form into a ball and place in oiled bowl. Cover and let rise1 hour,as much as an hour and a half, or till doubled in size.
  Punch down and turn onto floured surface. Divide in two.Knead gently a few minutes and shape. Allow to double in size. Score the top with a knife brush with egg wash or cream.
  Bake till golden brown and sounds hollow when tapped.
  Allow to cool on a rack.

And enjoy the hell out of it........'cause now you can get great head.....

As always ,
Cheffy

Will I pass?

    It's a really heard question to answer.I had a friend ask me,, if he took a class under me, would he he pass. I'm not sure he liked the answer. "I don't know". Seriously, it wasn't an insult to his talent or ability, it was an honest, immediate response..I'm incabable of lying......I get many different people coming into my classes of varied education, prior work experience, no experience at all, and all knowing of everything. Or so they think. When someone wants to learn from me, it takes several variables to do so. The first is, you don't know jack. And even if you think you do, it isn't going to help. Nothing you say is going to mean a can of beans until I see you preform. Nothing in your experience is going to prepare you for the dirth of knowledge I have in my arsenal. The places I've been, the chefs I worked for and with, the circumstances I've worked under. Besides, this is not a competition, so shut up and listen. And read. And study. And focus. Smart asses need not apply. People who want to make me a daily joke.........you are so dealing with the wrong bitch.
  I am a very warm and encouraging teacher. I do not enjoy berating or making people small. The worst example I can think of is the screaming, cursing, beat you till you cry like a girl chef, that does nothing to inspire. I carry a more frame of mind. But I do demand professionalism from day one. Clean, trimmed, sharp knives, ready to hit the ground running. I don't care if you set your clocks one hour ahead, if it's going to get you there on time or even early. Phones off, no outside food, eat before you show up or bring enough for everyone. And a HUGE cappuccino for me wouldn't be a bad thing. EVER!
  We have a sorry lack of cooks who care about what they're doing.They need to be taught what they must know in order to go out and CARE about what they are cooking. So I take as a personal mission to teach them.That  said, like little acolytes they should come into the kitchen with reverence and surety.